


If All You Want Is To Leave

by Noctilucence



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, INSPIRED BY BEDROOM FLOOR IF YOU COULDN'T TELL, Modern AU, but on reading it you really can't tell, but then forgot about until now, she said it was over but her clothes said different on his bedroom floor, the fic i've been waiting to write since i first heard bedroom floor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 04:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15111707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noctilucence/pseuds/Noctilucence
Summary: Lotura Week 2018 Day 7: Free day“Just because destiny brought us together doesn’t mean it was meant to be.”So she keeps telling him (and herself); and yet Allura finds it hard to believe in her own words when "destiny" seems to ignore them, when the world tells her to believe in a path that was on fire and went over the horizon into certain doom.Except the fire was warm and the horizon made her want to fly over it.(Why did she keep coming back to it?)





	If All You Want Is To Leave

“You and I…we were meant to be together.” he murmurs in that quiet, guttural rumble his voice became when he lowered it.

And for the moment, she believed it, because his arms were strong around her and she fit right in the crook of his neck as if the space was made for her—because destiny had brought them together and usually when that sort of thing happened, the story had a good ending.  

A happy one, where all the fighting stopped, and the good people got what they wanted.

“Just because destiny brought us together doesn’t mean it was meant to be.”

There it was. She had to ruin it, pop the warm bubble, and bring them back down to reality. She wasn’t about to call herself childish for wanting his words to be true—what else had they been raised on, if not fairytales where everything worked out in the end without any real consequence and things happened for a reason?

Allura knew better and she wished she didn’t. She wanted to be wrong and stupid, so she could make her mistakes in peace. So other people could excuse her idiocy under the guise of youth and not hold it all against her as the years went by.

What was so wrong with stealing a few moments of bliss in the face of an excruciating truth and an ache in her chest so strong that it could cripple her? Her legs barely had the strength to get her out—if she left him again, she would surely not even make it to the door.

Surely, she would fall to her knees in the despair that threatened to wash over her on a daily basis.

“But I love you.” Lotor says, as if it were all the justification the universe needed, as if it would excuse everything that made her leave.

She could not bring herself to say it back to him, that she loved him so much that she would lie awake at night, rebellious tears disobeying her command to not spill as she couldn’t help but feel the enormity of the emptiness next to her where he used to be.  
She was not afraid of the dark, but of the crushing loneliness it brought and the onslaught of a silence that she had once cherished. She needed to hear his slow breaths in the night, the rustle of the sheets as he shifted in his sleep— _anything_ to keep herself from thinking she was going to be swallowed up by the void.

Her body betrays her by nestling closer into his embrace. The warmth of his skin dulls her senses, makes her want to stay on a primal level.

“But I can’t.” Allura replies.

“And yet, we keep running into each other. Everything works out when we’re together…  
Most people would take that as a sign, love.”

“Signs can be misread.”

She had to _move_ , while she still had the sense to argue against him, or surely, she would be trapped there in the place fate had so desperately wanted her in.  
In the place that felt so _right_ , what else was she supposed to feel but _vindication_ at the thought of being with him? Her body melted in his heat, under the gentle touch of his fingers drawing circles on her back.

 _Move; please move_.

He could sense her unease, read her beyond her actions.  
“Must you leave me?” he asks, pleadingly, but with that infuriating tone of maturity that forgave her, understood her better than anyone.

Why did he have to sound so lonely? Didn’t he _know_ how hard this was on her already without the way his eyes softened, the way his brows shifted when he looked at her?

  
Why did he have to let her go if he wanted her? Why did he say stop when he really meant _more_?

How could she let him get to her so easily? How did he get into her mind as if he were seeing from her eyes?

Why was the weight of Lotor’s honesty so much heavier than any of the times he had fallen asleep on her?

She faltered under his gaze, and he could _tell_ , detecting the split second of reluctance.

She could see the defeat in his eyes as Lotor’s arms released her, slowly, the way wild animals were let free when they were ready to go.

 _Don’t hesitate,_ he tells her silently with the worst kind of smile. Not of pity, but with a gaze of absolute calm staring into the looming abyss of a half empty bed.

_Go now, or I won’t ever let you go again._

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all, BEDROOM FLOOR LYRICS ANYONE ?
> 
> Take this out of nowhere/last minute 7th day fic instead of the actual fic I slaved over for a fortnight and gave up on for now. Since before season 6, when I heard bedroom floor, I've wanted to do a post-breakup Lotura fic but then I forgot about it UNTIL I LISTENED TO IT AGAIN. 
> 
> Believe, Allura! I want to believe too ~
> 
> Totally unbeta'd and edited at 1am, but I had to.


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